7 reasons to bet on Clash Royale – A ridiculous dule

You still haven’t placed your first bet on Clash Royale? Then I’m sorry to say you’ve really been missing out. Here are 7 awesome reasons why betting on Clash Royale is the best thing ever! 

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1. Taking a crap doesn’t have to be shit!

What goes up must come down and what goes in must come out – it’s the beauty of nature. But you know, no matter the most awful stench you can imagine as a result of garlic stuffed fast-food and expired eggs, there’s a way to make the experience enjoyable. If you don’t believe me then you’ve never tried betting on Clash Royale. Nothing will make a bathroom break with a bad stomach feel like a trip to Bahamas like Clash Royale betting does!

Take that awesome vacation trip you’ve always wished for by placing some sharp bets on Clash Royale!

2. Because size matters!

Whether it’s from the girl you’re dating, a really (I mean really, really) good friend or a random creep on the internet, you’ve probably heard that size doesn’t matter. Well, that’s just not true! Have you ever tried playing Clash Royale on a small screen phone? Successfully?! When you’re in the heat of a battle every inch counts and with a small one even the tiniest fingers feel like German bratwursts. My humble amount of trophies know all too well!

What do you think make all the best players the best? They have an enormous size! Go get that delicious 10” and bring home the trophy! How to afford it? Less rest and more bets!

3. What else will get you out of housekeeping?

I know the feeling… The laundry basket is overflowing, the freezer is down to a way too old pack of fish sticks and the dust bunnies have been going at each other like crazy. Your beloved one is now expecting that you should lend a hand with this, but you know what? You got better things to do, because you’re gonna bring in some cash! There’s some serious Clash Royale matches going down and it just happens to be that you need to study for them, which of course any good girl and boyfriend would understand. Plus, when you take home those winning bets you can buy yourself a servant and eat fresh fish sticks every day!

4. Chests will never seem to stop coming!

You love those wonderful chests, don’t you? I can’t blame you, I’m a sucker myself! Since there are never enough chests on sale, I’ve actually come up with my own brilliant solution to get the most of them! Every time I have winning bet on Clash Royale, which for a mastermind like me of course means every bet, I take some of that sweet profit that I make and buy myself an awesome chest. Then every time I have a losing bet, even though I never lose (pinky swear), I go and buy myself two of them just to comfort myself, and you know what? I’ve never had this many chests before!

It’s a bulletproof strategy! You like chests? Then you like bets!

5. You don’t have to go to the gym to sweat!

You made that silly new year’s resolution about going to the gym too, went once and then realized that the wi-fi there wasn’t good enough for Clash Royale? Well, screw the gym! That treadmill couldn’t make you sweat like the heat of the battle in Clash Royale anyway! And you know what? I got a trick that’ll make you get into shape in no time – start placing bets on the professional matches! The tension from those bets will turn every drop of that tiny little sweat into a killer tsunami and have you lose weight like a trip to space!

6. You’ll always have the bragging rights!

Whether it’s with your best friend, a one night stand or that stranger you just bumped into on the street, there’s nothing that beats bragging! And you know what? With my super secret method that I’m about to reveal, you’ll always have the bragging rights! Check it out… While you’re telling everyone that player A will win the Clash Royale match for certain, you’re in secret placing a large bet on player B. If it turns out that player A won, you’ll just go on and on forever about how you’re the almighty knowing god. If you lose? Well, these suckers might take a punch at you, but who just made a shit load of cash if not you? Once again you have the right to portray yourself as the almighty god.

You know how the saying goes – good game, well played!

7. Because everyone does it!

You know how everyone picks their nose and eat the booger, but never talks about it? It’s the same with Clash Royale betting! I assume that you’re already familiar with the golden rule of society? If everyone else does it, you have to do it too! And you know what? Just like eating boogers, everyone loves betting on Clash Royale! But how could we blame them? When an awesome game clashes with the thrilling excitement of betting, that’s just what you get!

You know what they say – don’t hate the player, hate the game!

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